I can't make this up

January 31, 6pm
I felt a swollen lymph node in the left side of my neck. Usually, I wouldn't think much of it because I perenially have a swollen lymph node especially when I have a lung-related illness.

This was different though. Aside from the fact that I wasn't the least bit sick, it's as big as a P1 coin. Plus, the lump (a.k.a. "sungay na maling tubo") came out of nowhere. I know this for a fact because I usually put night cream on my face and neck (takot magkawrinkles =P) and the night before, it wasn't there.

February 1, 2pm
I went to a clinic to have the lump checked. The doctor was worried about the size of the lump (duh! who wouldnt'? I'm there, am I not?). He said that there's a high chance (around 80%) that I have TB. I can either get a chest X-ray or do a biopsy on the lump. He explained the procedure blah blah blah my choice. It was a no-brainer dahil takot ako sa karayom. I did the X-ray first and, of course, my lungs were clear. They wanted to do the biopsy right there and then but being the coward that I am, I backed out.

February 2, 2:30pm
I did go back the next day (Wednesday) with Melvin whose main responsibility was to hold my hand hahahahahaha. It was a good thing that the doctor was cute because getting a fine needle biopsy was exactly what I thought it would be. Definitely, NOT like being bitten by an ant, as the doctor assured. It was uncomfortable, painful to a certain extent, and I could actually feel the needle poking inside what was evidently a solid lump. The doctor had to do it twice because he wasn't satisfied with the first go. Even after threatening him "na one-time-big-time lang ito, at kung more than once nya gagawin, kailangang ibiopsy ko rin sya." Ito pa funny/scary, his hands were shaking a bit, on the same breath that he was telling me that he had to do the procedure carefully because the lump was on top of my carotid. Can you say arterial spray? <-- insert CSI theme song here.

February 22, approx 3pm

Supposedly (supposebly?), I'll get the results 7 to 10 days after the procedure but I only received it on the 22nd. The doctor had to give it over the phone because he wasn't in the clinic due to some emergencies. He said that the analysis was "inflammation with suspicious atypical cells", followed by an explanation with a plethora of medical terms that I wasn't able to pick up. He recommended excising the lump in a hospital where he moonlights... surgery is 10 to 12k... general anesthesia included... can be outpatient... so they can know for sure what type.... HALT!!!! Type??? I was still tripping over the word "atypical". I asked the doctor, "So doc, are you saying that I have cancer now you just don't know what type it is?" "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." That bit of Q&A went on four more times. I was making sure I heard it correctly or I was in shock or I was in denial or all of the above. My world reeled. He told me that when he received the findings, he thought, "Kawawa naman si April, bata pa lang may cancer na". I thought uuuh doc, that's not actually helping. We ended the conversation after he told me that if I want a second opinion (of course, I do) I could get the results and the biopsy slides in the clinic.

I called Allan and I was telling her to calm me down (Cha was also trying to listen in, unfortunately, we can't use the speaker). I was crying, to say the least. And screaming what the doctor just told me. And hitting the steering wheel. Pragmatic as ever, Allan told me that I should get a second opinion, discussed other options etc etc it was all a blur to me amidst tears and woeful sobs. I did remember cracking a joke, trying to lighten the mood. I told her that I'll go to Sally and she agreed. I cried some more after calling her and went to Ayala where Sally's office is located. I had to calm down because I had an interview at 5pm that day. Melvin also did undertime to meet me in Sally's office.

That would be the only time (so far) that I had cried over my sungay. Thank God for friends =D.

February 24, 11am
My friend's mom (who is a pathologist) told me that her mom is willing to analyze the biopsy slides so that I could get a second opinion. For free!!! God bless them both. She said that she'd look at the slides first before she makes any recommendation (to excise or not to excise, that is the question).

February 27, 1pm.
I went to the clinic to get the slides but they told me that they don't have the slides, they can only give me the final results. The pathologist who analyzed the specimen wasn't an in-house doctor. They needed to request it first from the doctor so that he can bring it over to the clinic. I would have to wait for their call so that I'd know when to pick-up the slides.

March 3, 11am.
This morning I received a call from the clinic. The lab technician told me that they can't give me my slides anymore! Nakausap raw nya yung pathologist and apparently, nanakawan yung kotse nung doctor, natangay yung attache case nya kung san nakalagay yung biopsy slides ko! waahhhhhh!!!! Napatigil ako!

Malas ko naman! Comedy of errors talaga! I just laughed it all out. Sobrang funny!!!!

as of yet, I'm thinking of my options, and I already have a couple.

...more of my misadventures...