Bah Humbug

I don't like Christmases not spent at home.

Three years ago, I was assigned onshore in Virginia and I wasn't able to go home for Christmas. I thought, it should be okay. A new experience, see what it feels like not to spend the holidays with your family.

I hated it. I was surrounded by a lot of people because there were at least 20 of us who couldn't go home in the 'pines but even so it just felt different. We held a party, of course, but after that when I went back to our apartment and opened the care package from my family, I cried while reading the card from my Temaj. I cried while reading this line "Wag mo na uulitin ito dahil lalo akong tataba. Ako ang kumakain ng share mo sa cake." I swore I'll never spend Christmas away from home ever ever again.

Well, the road to ruin is lined with good intentions (sorry bad mood, thus, the slight digression to my otherwise pollyanna sunshine self. Liar you don't have a Pollyanna sunshine demeanor anymore not for a long time anyways you're just a little bit optimistic than some that's it shut up stop contradicting yourself).

This year, due to a lifestyle changing decision just a few months ago, wala na naman ako sa Pilipinas.

Chrismas eve, we held a party here in the house for all the noyps who stayed here in Letterkenny for the holidays. Good food, nice enough company, enjoyable activities but I just couldn't enjoy all out. The party ran until 2 am and while cleaning the house and listening to Hotdogs' Manila, I was again a basketcase.

There used to be a time when this holiday was my favorite holiday. That feels like a long time ago.